Calm down, calm down, it’s not what you think, but don’t you just love a really great title?! Although, there is truth in the title of me being forced to be anti-choice, but it’s not so political, sort of. That’s what happens when your little one, ok my little one, asks me a question that I absolutely can’t answer correctly, or at all, for that matter. After deciding that he wasn’t speaking to me this morning, my 7 and a half year old took to writing things down. Whether it was his breakfast option, drink option, or just to prove that he knew how to spell the word obnoxious, he wrote. Yes, I asked him to spell. Please note that these written interactions were taking place while I was also helping my other two kids get ready for their day. That includes making breakfast, making lunch, making sure teeth are brushed and cell phones charged (we do live in New York City,) and making sure they are out the door in time! It’s exhausting to say the least, but I love it, and them, and wouldn’t have it any other way. Somewhere in the madness, I get the next handwritten query from my sweet little boy. He asks: “If you were trapped on a desert island who would you rather be with me or the middle (name was changed to protect the innocent!)?” There is no right answer here!! I balked immediately and hemmed and hawed, and told him there was no way I could choose. I offered up the gruesome scenario of drowning myself so that they would be together and I wouldn’t have to choose. Oh relax, I know that might not have been the best thing to say, but I had to say something!!! He gave up eventually when I refused to commit to an answer and it wasn’t until the morning rush was over and I had a chance to chat with some friends, that it occurred to me what was going on. In that moment this morning, my little one was feeling neglected. In a perfect world, that light would have gone off immediately and I would have been able to say to him “Oh honey, what an impossible choice that would be for any parent to make, because I love you both so much. It sounds like you are feeling a little upset about the attention your brother has been getting, is that what’s going on?” Well sadly, a perfect world we do not have access to, so I will have to check in with him this afternoon and try to give him some one on one time. I sometimes compare parenting to those games at the carnival that you know are rigged for you to lose, but they tease you with allowing you to come so close to winning, that you just keep trying and trying. You keep trying because you hope that eventually you will knock down all the bowling pins. The fun of parenting really is in the trying, the blessing really is in being able to play at all.
Our four Totems are on the left of this page, have a look and choose one to help you through your hectic mornings!