Sometimes a memory should be just that, a memory.

We all have memories, some good, some bad, some that we question as if they might never have happened, and plenty that we would like to forget. I was reminded a while ago of a beautiful memory that I have held on to for about 25 years. In the age of social media, I decided to seek out the other party in my memory, just in the hopes of reconnecting, for the memory’s sake. Lo and behold, LinkedIn, turned up my search and even though I hesitated, I clicked the invite button and waited. The hesitation was rooted in fear of course, because my memory is just that, mine. The other person involved might have had a completely different experience and not share the same nostalgia with me. I was quickly rewarded with an email telling me that my invitation had been accepted! Now I could send an email, open a dialogue, and possibly, hopefully, validate my memory. To spare you the angst that I experienced in the process, I was able to validate my memory. Amazingly enough, this was indeed a truly shared experience, down to the sweetness associated with it, down to the cherishing we had both done of our short, yet deeply intimate connection. I had taken a risk, and I had been rewarded, we both had in a sense, and for that I will always be grateful. Sadly though, that beautiful shared memory, is shared by people that no longer exist in the way they were 25 years ago. We have had a lifetime of experiences since then and created many lifetimes worth of memories, the good, the bad, the ones we’d like to forget, and those we hope to never forget. These new people aren’t necessarily supposed to be connected today, maybe their time was 25 years ago, in that shared moment that has kept them both warm in heart over the years. These new people don’t know each other, and the attempt to try and box them in to the fantasies of who they used to be, is futile and frustrating at best. As a result, that wonderful memory has lost a lot of it’s luster, and no longer provides the warmth that it had supplied for so long. Now all it gives is a twinge of loss and a melancholy for someone I used to know, someone who isn’t who I remembered them to be, and hoped they would still be.

With that, I bid you cherish those incredible memories from your past and find that the validation you may be wishing for already exists within you. Your memory is just that, yours, and that is enough.

Stay well.

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By | 2018-04-07T23:22:41-04:00 April 4th, 2015|Life, love, relationships|0 Comments

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