The lesson of the week was clearly an important one since it kept hitting me over the head time and again. If it wasn’t a status update on a friend’s Facebook page (thanks K.B.), it was someone else’s utter disregard for me as a person, but finally, the message came through. Guess what? It has NOTHING to do with me!! Yep, that’s the message. No, seriously, that’s the understanding that came through loud and clear, that I will have to somehow manage to remind myself of regularly. When someone makes a choice to treat you poorly, know it has nothing to do with you. Or if I were to make it personal, I might say to myself “Wow, she’s being a real bitch! I wonder what’s going on in her life that’s so hard for her to manage that she’s taking it out on me, because I know it has nothing to do with me!” It doesn’t mean that people should get away with being jerks, but hopefully it makes it less personal and allows us to handle a situation in such a way that doesn’t make it worse for anyone involved. You can certainly walk away and feel free to let someone know that you won’t stand to be spoken to in such a manner. Or you might choose to say to said bitch, “Hey, you seem really upset. What’s going on with you?” This simple act of turning it back on them may result in the person taking a moment and recognizing their mood and treatment of you. Hopefully, you’ll get an apology, but more likely you’ll at least get a chance to collect yourself and your reaction so that you can ultimately walk away without an escalation. The flipside to this message, and yes, there is one, is that when someone does something truly lovely, and selfless, and wonderful, and generous, that’s all about you! And you know what? You deserve it! Bottom line is that when someone is behaving poorly towards you, their behavior is not your responsibility, but when someone is being sweet and kind towards you, own it!! Say thank you, of course, and it feels right give that sentiment right back. I have so many amazing people in my life and I am grateful for all of them, it will be interesting to see which ones email me to make sure it wasn’t them that pissed me off! Don’t worry, it wasn’t you, or you.
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