Finding peace with Option B, or even Option C,D,E, and so on…..

By now you have likely read the essay by Sheryl Sandberg, and you have taken in her words and her grief and yes, even her hope. If you don’t know the story, Sheryl’s husband, Dave Goldberg, died in a tragic accident a month ago, and the only reason you might know the story, is that this couple was very well known in the tech world and beyond. Sheryl is a bigwig at Facebook, and her husband was a biggie at Yahoo and then Survey Monkey. They were as you might call them, a power couple. That’s why we know them, that’s why Sheryl has been so incredibly courageous in sharing her grief with us, because we feel like we know them. Sure, she could have crawled away into the “void” she mentions in her essay, and grieved privately, but instead she is making her pain public with the goal of helping others. She’s helping others by being candid about her experience and about the experience of others around her, what helps when someone is grieving and what doesn’t, for example. Sheryl, also finds the strength to choose to live and stay present with her pain, rather than embrace that void filled with emptiness. She is choosing, as her friend who counseled and inspired her suggested, to find peace with Option B. Option B is the one where she lives without her husband, without the storybook marriage we have all read about it, without the father to her children, and her partner, but still with life, and the ability to do the best damn job of life she can. Not only for herself, but for her children. Option B is a gift, and a lot of us have had our shares of Options, or being forced to change our direction from what we thought something might be, to what is now something else entirely. It makes me think about my Option B, and then I realize, I’m kind of up to Option F or so at this point. I am grateful for having Options. I am grateful for the realization that if my “plan” doesn’t go as follows, I will just make another plan. It sounds simple, and in a way, it really is, but simple doesn’t mean easy. We either choose to remain with an Option that is no longer viable, available, or even possible, or we move on to the next Option which is filled with possibility, and potential. My Dad wasn’t around growing up, and died when I was young, next Option. We moved and then moved again, next Options. My brother died and now I have no sibling, and my kids do not have their Uncle, next option. I got divorced, next Option. See where I’m going with this? I’m MacGyvering the heck out of my life and wouldn’t have it any other way. There are Options, and Sheryl Sandberg, in her moving and eloquent piece, is moving to her Option B, and I’ve no doubt she will “kick the s*%t out of it!”

Leaning in for love.

Leaning in for love.

Stay well.

Totem Tamers helps give you the option of calm in the face of potentially overwhelming situations. Get a Totem today by clicking on any of the Totems on the side of the page.

By | 2018-04-07T23:20:42-04:00 June 4th, 2015|anxiety, death, family, Life, marriage, mental health|0 Comments

Leave A Comment