Negativity shouldn’t ever be part of a sales pitch!

By | 2018-04-07T23:21:43-04:00 March 29th, 2016|anxiety, anxiety disorder, anxiety relief, mind/body, motivation, social media|

“You suck! But I have a trick that can make you suck less, just sign up here.” If that message showed up in your inbox, how would you feel? Well, that’s essentially the message I got very early this morning on Instagram. I will tell you that the only thing it made me feel was pissed off! The person who sent the message, well actually it wasn’t a message, it was a comment on a post I had put up days ago, I’m sure thought she was being helpful. That’s definitely not how it came across.

instagram message

#Instahate

Ok fine, maybe it wasn’t as vitriolic as it became the more I looked at it, but still. There’s my post and all it’s hashtag glory (my kids say I use way too many), followed by a lovely comment from a sweet supporter, and then boom, this sort of slap in the face but with an excuse built in. Not only do I not want to go to this so-called #Instaexpert’s website, but I have also decided to unfollow her. She has thousands upon thousands of followers, so it really won’t make a difference to her and clearly her narcissism won’t allow her to care anyway. The sad part is that she may actually be really good at what she does, I mean heck, she’s invited to speak at conferences so she must have some credibility, right? (yes, there’s a teeny bit of sarcasm in there.) And I am new to the world of Instagram, my kids even had to show me how to find this woman’s comment again, so I could use the support. I’m not going to be negative in return though, in fact, I’m going to be positive and even helpful. I actually touched on this theme a long time ago, and there were donuts involved in the blog post for some reason, but the message is still relevant. Being positive will get you better results and is more powerful than negativity. If this #instaexpert had approached me positively, I would have been more inclined to check out her free webinar, or consult or whatever she was peddling. Instead of saying “Your acct is confusing”, she could have said “Really love your pics, and would love to help you with your message.” See the difference? Something positive to lead in to whatever it is she thinks I need! Not so difficult and it could have led to something further but instead it fired me up to write a post.  I will at least be grateful for that! Thank you #instaexpert for validating the kind of support I am not looking for. Maybe she needs a Totem?

Stay well.

Building blocks of humanity.

By | 2018-04-07T23:21:51-04:00 December 11th, 2015|anxiety, anxiety disorder, anxiety relief, apartment, childhood, children, earth, inspiration, Life, meditation, mental health, mind/body, motherhood, motivation, parenthood, parenting, stories, story, storytelling, Uncategorized|

I’m very blessed to be able to walk around New York City, where even in a place brimming with people, I can revel in the solitude that throngs can offer. I was at a holiday party the other night where the view out the window was the scene stealer of the night.

As I stood there during this event, plenty of people around me socializing and being festive, I was captivated with the outside world. With all the tiny little windows before me in this tiny stretch of Manhattan. What was happening inside those homes? What were those people experiencing at this same moment? This “deep thinking” continued the next day during a conversation with my 9 year old as we walked around. He’s at a stage where he is questioning everything, which is wonderful, but can also be a tad overwhelming, at times. He looked at me with his gorgeous brown eyes and asked “What if we are just ants in someone else’s bigger world?” Wow, profundity from the mouths of babes. There are plenty of ways I could have answered this question, but I chose to go with the method that allows for all possibilities, and I simply responded with, “What if?” This spurred the conversation further to considering that maybe we were fish in someone’s fish bowl and natural disasters are a result of someone bumping into the bowl that rests on a table in the living room. I was moved that my son experienced this existential questioning with hope as opposed to fear. We were going deep, I tell you!! Deeper still, as I look into the tiny windows in the buildings that surround me, is the notion that we have no idea what might be going on in someone’s life. We have no idea what happiness, what sorrow, what fear, what excitement might be brimming in someone’s doorway. So even though we might just be ants in someone else’s bigger world, or fish in a fishbowl in some well decorated living room, we are all in it together and the possibilities don’t have to be scary but can be filled with the same hope reflected in my son’s eyes.

Stay well.

There’s more to #givingTuesday than cash!

By | 2018-04-07T23:21:52-04:00 December 1st, 2015|anxiety, anxiety disorder, anxiety relief, brotherhood, brothers, charity, childhood, children, donation, education, family, friends, friendship, gift, gifts, gratitude, holiday, inspiration, Life, motherhood, motivation, parenthood, parenting, strangers, stress, stress relief, totems|

First, there was Black Friday, then Small Business Saturday, Cyber Monday, and now, Giving Tuesday. All of these “days” are centered around money. Black Friday has everything on super sale after Thanksgiving, so you’re encouraged to buy, buy, buy. Small Business Saturday is all about supporting small businesses (duh), so buy, buy, buy! Cyber Monday means you can sit in your PJ’s and what else? Buy, buy, buy! Now we come to Giving Tuesday, which encourages you to take any money you might have leftover and donate, donate, donate. It’s a grand idea and there are countless worthy organizations that need support by way of donations. I know I have several that I support year-round, but there may be a new one or two that I help out this year. (If you’re looking for some ideas, shoot me an email at julie@totemtamers.com, and I’ll happily share some needy organizations with you!) Over the last couple days though, something occurred to me, there is plenty of giving that doesn’t actually require spending! You can certainly give time, like my family did on Thanksgiving when we served dinner at a homeless shelter run by The Doe Fund.

Aren't hairnets awesome?

Aren’t hairnets awesome?

Giving can be as simple as a smile to a neighbor, or an extra hug to your kids. I had a birthday over the weekend and so many people gave me time and well wishes that it moved me to tears. Giving feels good and it works in both directions! The giver and the receiver end up rewarded, and there’s no better gift than that! So, if you have some spare change and/or a cause near and dear, go ahead and make a donation. If you don’t have money to spare, that’s ok, because you definitely have spirit and good will in abundance, and that’s free! Use it! I think you’re awesome and you will too, when you give.

Stay well.

Be a Star!!

By | 2018-04-07T23:20:44-04:00 May 21st, 2015|inspiration, Life, meditation, motivation, stars|

I love when I’m out early in the morning with my dog and I see something so simple that inspires me in a great way.

Sidewalk Star!

Sidewalk Star!

Seeing this sweet star just hanging out among the leaves and the cracked cement, had me thinking about people and their dreams and wishes. So many want to be stars, in the sense that they are recognized for greatness and hopefully have some positive impact in the world. The reality is that we are all stars. We all have the opportunity to shine, and we all have the opportunity to make someone’s wishes come true, even our own! It may be that your star doesn’t hang above the universe for everyone to see, but there are always people watching, so be a star. Be someone that others want to look at and be inspired by. Be that beacon that lets someone know they are heading in the right direction. When you are confronted with a troubling situation, shine your way through it and that light will reflect on everyone around you and inspire them to do the same the next time they encounter a similar situation. Sometimes being a star means taking a step back and letting someone else shine. Either way, we are all stars, we are all shining lights, we are all guides to someone, if not everyone. Be a star today, and let the world see you shine!

Stay well.

The glow of the bronze from a Totem can be a constant reminder to shine. Get your Totem today by clicking on any of the Totems on the left.